I remember the first day you came to live with me in Florida. Shauna brought you in, in a cardboard box and you hadn’t eaten all day. You were yelling your tiny little head off, and rightly so. You were so hungry. We went to the store and bought you a bottle and some formula and fed you as fast as we could. Then that night you slept in my hair because you were too small to sleep anywhere else. I made you a little “house” in a shoe box and worried about you when I left. You were so tiny and sweet.
Then as you grew, your personality was so strong! I remember the day you got a spanking for something, I don’t remember what, and you ran to the fainting couch, jumped up on it and ripped a hole into it with your teeth. Then you looked at me as if to say, “Now what’re you gonna do about that?!” You were so bad, it made me laugh and couldn’t spank you for it. The hole is still there...
I remember you dragging your “Sock” around the house and making love noises to it at night. Such a little crazy cat, you were so hilarious! You had that sock for almost 15 years.
I remember how you would only let me, or anyone, pet you for so long; then, it was enough! You would bite or run away because you would get too excited. So fussy and so grumpy!!! You were my Grumpy old man long before you were truly old….My little Monster Kitty.
I remember how you would never come into the circle, but would always sit outside and watch. You were so jealous of Little Boy, and you never would understand that I loved you just as much and wished you would cuddle with me too. I wish we could’ve had a chance for you to cuddle with me now that he had gone. I was so looking forward to coming home at Christmas and loving on you. Telling you I hadn’t forgotten you or left you. That I loved you still and that soon you would come live with mommy again.
I should have brought you with me Gator Tater. I should’ve brought you here to Germany like I brought your brother. But you were so much younger than he. I never thought you’d both leave me in the same year. He was always so demanding even in the end. But you? You were always the quiet one. So unassuming, always in the background. You just went to sleep. No trouble to anyone. Just sweet, quiet and undemanding. Like always, my Boy. My Big Red. Mommy has missed you these past three years, and I know you missed me. I’m so sorry that you had to leave thinking I didn’t love you and that I had left you. I hope you knew that wasn’t true. I hope you knew that I wanted you here. I thought about you every day and always asked mom how you and Boog were. I wish I could see you one more time and love you and let you sleep in the bed with me. You always loved that. Now all I have are pictures of you. If only I could look into your big green eyes once more, pet your thick red fur, and tell you that you are my Baby and that I love you.
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| Gator, AKA Monster Kitty, Chasing Monsters in the Yard |
You’ve been with me for 15 years. You’ve lived all over the States with me: Florida, where you were born, Georgia, and Las Vegas. Now it’s time to put all of your papers away and your Sock. I’m sorry I wasn’t there with you in the end. I’m sorry I missed your funeral. I will never be able to make that up to you. Please forgive me, Monster Kitty.
Sleep well, my Boy. Mommy will miss you. Mommy loves you. Sweet dreams.
Love Always,
Your mommy
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