You Can't Spell Lost without the "LT"

So here I sit, basking in the afterglow of my graduation from Officer Candidate School on Thursday. I don't believe the enormity of it all has actually quite hit me yet. In fact, it seems mostly unreal. It probably won't fully hit me until I reach my permanent duty station in August. Then, I imagine as I walk into that position of command, it will slam down upon me like a ton of bricks. If I don't feel lost now, I will most certainly feel it then.

So how was it? All that training that was supposed to take a lowly Sergeant and turn her into an Officer? A lowby Officer, but an Officer nonetheless? I have to say that my experience was radically different from BCT, but in a sense much the same. I laughed, I cried, I made friends, I did things I never thought of doing, much less that I'd be able to actually do them. I was sore, I was tired, I was angry... So many things expereinced that I would never trade for the world. I feel that I came out on the other side a better person. I learned a lot about myself, and about other people.

Just as in BCT, some of it was really easy. For instance the academics, I made a 94% overall, and I didn't even bother to study. Super easy! However, I can't say the same for the PT. I came into OCS with a 9:30- to a 9:45-minute mile. In the eyes of the U.S. Army Officer Corps, that is nowhere near good enough. A 9-minute mile (give or take 15 seconds) is the absolute maximum and if you can get it down to an 8- or 6-minute mile so much the better. Pushups and situps were a breeze, as usual, but my run sucked and therefore, so did I. The first week out, I was written up (counseled) twice for my poor run times. I thought I would never make it. How in the world was I going to make it???? All in all, I was counseled three times over it, but I finally pulled it out and my run got better. Currently, I have an 8:12-minute mile and on our 5-mile run, I averaged a 9:06-minute mile, which means I ran 5 miles in 45:24!!! I know I still have room to improve, but dang I think I've come along way because back in June of '07 when I discovered I had to run 5 miles in 45 minutes for OCS, not only had I NEVER run that far in my entire life, I was nowhere near running a 9-minute mile. I was at a10:30- to an 11-minute mile back then. Whew! All in all, I'd have to say that my run was both my most challenging obstacle and my greatest success. I intend to get it down to a 7-something minute mile by August. =D

Another great learning experience was our FLX (Field Leadership Exercise). I found that although I like normal camping, Army camping is much more intense. No comforts there, ugh! I think this will be another challenge for me to learn to overcome in the future. I fully intend to conquer it and my misery the next time around! As we say in the Army, I need to learn to "Embrace the Suck."

On a brighter note, I sucked and rucked another 10 miles this time around. Yeah, my feet were hamburger afterward, but I did it and didn't fall out or behind at all. I need to figure out how to avoid blisters..sigh..think I'll try spraying my feet with antiperspirant next time because *nothing* else seems to work. And I've tried EVERYTHING...believe it!

I made soo many friends at OCS, and to think we'll see each other around as we move through our careers is gratifying. It was fun hanging out and getting into trouble with them (the fun kind of trouble...not the serious kind!). I already miss them all! I'll be posting a bunch of pictures of OCS this next week, so everybody can see my gang. It was sad to leave them on Thursday, but I know we'll keep in touch over the years.
So yeah, now I'm off to more training for a total of 15 weeks, then I have learned that I'm shipping off to Germany in August. I'm not sure if that will be my permanent duty station, but I at least know that I'll be overseas. I don't feel ready to take on the vast responsibility that I have chosen to bear. I hope that by August I'll feel differently, but I have a suspicion that I'll never be ready. It's like a lot of things in life that you are never prepared for, but that you just have to do anyways. So yeah, you can't spell "Lost" without the "LT" (Lieutenant) but I hope that I will muddle my way through and come out on the otherside with a career to be proud of and a job well-done. All I can say is that I will do my best and put my best foot forward. I want to make my family proud, my friends proud, and my country proud of what I have to offer because I am proud to have been given this opportunity to serve them all.