When One Door Closes

You know the old saying: When one door closes, another opens, right? Well, my life is so just that right now. So many new career opportunities are developing for me, I’m meeting all kinds of new and interesting people, going to interesting places, learning news skills and lessons about myself. Yet, the past still manages to elbow its way in to rain on my parade...So many cliches are just perfect for my situation right now, lol.

Regardless, today was one of those days that you just want to be finished with, ya know? It starts out fine, but kind of goes down hill from there. First I learned that the guy I have always secretly wanted to snag for my own is happily married. I mention him on my profile: Troy M. I hadn’t spoken to him in 10 years (since before I was married) and finally caught up with him today. *sigh* Of course he’s married, it would’ve been a crying shame and waste of wonderful manhood if he never had been. But I still had hope! No more, however. He has a lovely wife and brand new baby girl. Yeah for Troy, but it was still a let down...*sigh* Then the papers for my divorce finally made their way down the pipeline. Now don’t get me wrong, it is a good thing that I’m official, but it still sucks. You still look back and wonder when and where and why everything got all screwed up. And you still have that little voice that says, "What a shame!" And I feel especially like a jerk about it all because my ex’s grandmaw just died like two weeks ago. Just after Thanksgiving. It was hard on both of us, she was a great lady, and we loved her dearly. So the timing just couldn’t have been more heartless. When I called him to tell him I got the papers, he cried. So I’m now the Heartless B*tch Extraordinaire. Very nice to meet you....UGH! Why is life so stupid sometimes??? At a time when I should be excited and forward looking, life forces me to look back and review loves lost. Just perfect. I know I’m supposed to be learning something from this little lesson today, but right now I can’t fathom what it might be. Where is my dang woobie? I just want to curl up in it and forget all about today...